Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Real Action, VP Rice and the Best of the Best

The Big Nut:
Presidential candidates and part time Senators Barack Obama and John McCain will also take the campaign through their real office and grill Gen. Petreaus on the war in Iraq. Previous candidates Sen. Clinton, Dodd and Biden will be asking the truly incisive questions the candidates couldn’t touch. The GOP is testing Condo Rice’s name as a potential VP candidate for McCain. The Alibi recognized how truly superb Barack Out With My Cock Out’s coverage is and I, Ron Domino, would like to thank the voters, the readers and the editors for their kind words.

Real action! Senators set to bash Petraeus.

When was the last time you tuned in to see what the candidates were talking about and you found them actually atop capitol hill, doing their job? Tuesday and Wednesday the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and the House Armed Forces Committee will check up on the progress in Iraq as Gen. David Petraeus and Amb. Ryan Crocker stop by for a Q & A.

While little policy will be established, the contrasting rhetoric of Obama and Biden (D-Del) compared to McCain and Jim Demint (R-SC) should set the stage for a good debate on the direction of the war. Barack will need to be especially careful to demonstrate a strong command of the issue to reaffirm his readiness to hold the office of the Presidency. McCain could dig himself a deep hole if he takes too hawkish of an approach and puts himself on the record for a lot of quotes of him supporting nothing but a continuation of the war. Keep in mind: the General and Ambassador may be the honored guests, but that won’t stop the senators or congressmen from wasting most of the time listening to themselves preach their thoughts on the war.

Finally you have a reason to figure out what channel CSPAN2 is. For those of you burdened with the hassle of receiving your cable from Comcast, its number 26.

VP Rice?

After the Republican Party fielded 12 pale, white Christian men for candidates for President, they’re looking to get in on the Democrat’s progressive ways with their Vice Presidential choice. They have seen the problems one can encounter when choosing between a black man and a woman and decided to just go for it all. Enter, Condoleezza “Condo” Rice.

First, let us be clear that her nickname is not “Condi.” Where do you see an “i” in Condoleezza? If you would like to save the trouble of those last two syllables, don’t go cherry picking letters for the half of her name you decide to pronounce. Its “Condo” the gruff bulldog that has butchered our foreign policy under Bush’s watch, not “Condi” the smart, adorable (in comparison to other cabinet officials such as Ashcroft or Rumsfeld) woman that appears in interviews with Barbara Walters.

What do you think? Do you like the progress she has achieved in resolving the Israeli-Palestinian crisis? How about her ability to assist the new Iraqi Parliament in forming a working government? Middle East isn’t your favorite place, ok, what do you think of her dealings with Hugo Chavez and her ability to keep the northern region of South America from going to war?

If you appreciate her work in these areas as well as her ability to smile longingly while looking President Bush in the eyes, then McCain-Condo is probably your dream ticket. For those that are tired of having OPEC raise the price of oil as they sight “escalating tensions in the Levant/Iraq/Columbia/Mars” you might want to encourage McCain to seek out someone with a little better experience in negotiating with people that hate you. . . maybe someone like the last major political figure to visit Columbia on a diplomatic mission. Too bad Richardson endorsed McCain’s opposition--Obama.

Journalistic Excellence

The Pulitzer prizes have been doled out, again. Barack Out With My Cock Out can settle for the local accolades for the first month of work.

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