Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Getting all philosophical

The Nut: We begin with a ripped-off, jumbled quote found earlier while trolling the news:

“Give me the power to select the nominees and you are free to vote for whomever you please.”
- A famous very powerful despot with a snide sense of humor that shall remain forgotten.

You've got a vote to cast and you probably didn't even realize how soon its due at the ballot box. Hold my hand and follow me down the path to a well-educated vote. Here’s the cut-out list, for the excessive defense of each man or woman’s merits, vote first, then keep reading.

President: D’s voted in February you pothead, John McCain for the R’s
Senate: Tom Udall (D), Steve Pearce (R)
CD-1, ABQ's house seat - Martin Heinrich (D), Joe Carrero (R)
CD-2, Southern NM - Bill McCamley (D), Earl Greer (R)
CD-3, Northern NM - Ben Ray Lujan (D), ? (R)
State Senate 14, ABQ S. Valley – Eric Griego (D)
State Senate 15, ABQ Near East Heights, – John Blair (D)
State Senate 17, ABQ War Zone and East Side – Shannon Robinson (D)
State Senate 25, Santa Fe – Peter Wirth (D)
State Senate 33, Roswell – Rory McGinn (R)
State House 57, Roswell – Dennis Kintigh (R)
District Judge Division 9 – Benjamin Chavez (D)
Judge of the Metro Court Division 10 – Clyde Demerssman (now a D)
County Clerk, Bernalillo Co. – Ambrose Chavez (D)

I want to vote, again!

Friday morning, a young befuddled voter came to me this morning with a barrage of questions on what was going on with the current elections and needed to know when she was expected to vote again. November you guess? Do you really think Heather Wilson would be ‘taking her dominatrix whip to the back of the Steve Pearce’ so hard if voting didn’t end until November? Her frail little arms wouldn’t last through the summer.

Do you really think Jeopardy would be so dominated with campaign commercials if there weren’t a primary to decide before we proceed on to the general election? Don’t be naïve; be ready to get the right people on the general election ballot so come November, you’ll have the options to elect quality representatives to serve you. Barack Out With My Cock Out couldn’t let such an important day pass by without attempting to help every voter make the best decision possible.

Remember way back in February when we all stood in line for a couple hours to state our preference of the Presidential candidates? We’re doing it all over again (minus 110 minutes of the 2 hours it took in February), only this time it truly matters and it is guaranteed with full certainty that the winners of Tuesday’s primary elections will be the parties’ nominees for their respective offices . . . unless Rio Arriba gives up on counting votes again.

The dog and pony show of New Mexico’s February 5th Caucus has come and gone, now its time for the real primary election where we vote up and down the ballot for the people we feel best fit to proceed forward into the general election as the Republican or Democratic nominee.

Go where? When?

Today, is the last day for everyone who hasn’t voted early or mailed in an absentee ballot to voice their choice for their national and local Senate and House Representatives as well as a plethora judges and county officers. With a guarantee of at least one interesting race on your ballot, you can’t miss this opportunity to stand up and state your opinion.

For those uncertain about where you vote that live in Albuquerque, the Bernalillo County Clerk can help you find your proper polling location (click it). For those that want to know who’s going to be on their ballot, click the same link and then look half way down the next screen for “View Democratic Sample Ballot” and Republicans, obviously, you will click the link to the right of that one.

For those living beyond Bernalillo County, the Secretary of State’s website should, theoretically, be able to point you in the right direction, but keep in mind, this office is run by a lady that went around the campaign trail boasting her willingness to vote with coloured marbles should the voters feel it was appropriate.

Through the barrel, up the ladder, under the bar

Who can vote? Registered Democrats and Republicans. Beat it Independents, Greens, Constitutionalists and all other voters too cool to join the only two parties capable of fielding primary campaigns, you find two candidates to run for the same office from your party and then we’ll conduct a primary election for them.

Where do I vote? Find it through the links to the Bernalillo County Clerk and Secretary of State’s websites.

Is there going to be a two-hour wait like on Feb. 5? No, it is highly doubtful, but don’t jinx yourself in New Mexico. This election is being run by the state, not the Democratic Party and without Barack Obama on the ballot, interest has waned.

What do you mean Barack’s not on the ballot? Pay attention, you already cast your primary (technically ‘caucus’) vote for him. What would be the purpose of you voting again for the same office in a primary?

What do I get for going to all of this trouble? A pat on the back a lot less harassment if you try to hit up the campaigns’ “victory parties” Tuesday night – they stomach attendees that vote against their candidate, but mentioning you abstained from the election is asking for an ass whipping.

How can I avoid all of this trouble? Two ways, one good, one unfathomable: The smart choice is to get signed up for an absentee ballot and vote from the comfort of your own couch. The choice that welcomes an ass whipping is also on the table, but don’t bother considering it.

What if I don’t know whom I’m voting for? Keep reading. Other recommended reading can be found in the list of “News” to your right on this page.

New Mexico Republicans, welcome to the show! You’ve been so patient and reserved to wait until the day even Bill Clinton whispers ‘Hillary’s finished’ to vote for your nominee. But it has to be worth it to be the called upon at such a penultimate time in the election to cast your ballot. It was the toughest choice of any of the races of the year, but Barack Out With My Cock Out bestowes the honor of its support for one day and one day alone to Senator John McCain of Arizona. He narrowly defeated Arizona Senator John McCain to secure the 24 hour support.

The real Top of the Ticket

The Senate Race is half decided with Tom Udall being the Democratic nominee (because after the 51st phone call from a sitting Democratic Senator, Mayor Marty got a clue and conceded his candidacy to Tom), but on the Republican side of the ballot, Heather Wilson and Steve Pearce both think June 3rd should be the end of the other person’s political career. Whichever way it falls, Steve or Heather will officially be a lame duck looking in from the outside when they lose the election. With Tom Udall as the proper choice in the general election, we must look to which of the two Republicans would be easier to defeat. Despite Heather’s steadfast support of any proposal from Bush’s office, Pearce actually carries an even more conservative reputation. So for a state that swarms to promises of moderation, Steve is the most beatable and thus the best choice to put forward as the Republican nominee for Senate. Vote Steve-O for no other reason than he looks like the Sicilian from the Princess Bride.

The only other races everyone is half-aware of

Moving from town to town we’ll start in Albuquerque with the congressional race in CD-1. On the Democratic side, front-runner Martin Heinrich is leading the polls for good reason – he’s done a fine job standing up to Mayor Marty while on the City Commission and has also done good work on environmental issues. “But the man’s never worked a real day in his life!” Oh stop listening to the negative campaigning of his Republican opponents. He’s busted his butt plenty and no one gets in the position to run a real campaign without doing their share of sweating. The other Democratic primary candidates appreciate the work of the GOP against Heinrich, but think about why they’ve hit him so hard already . . . maybe they aren’t as scared of the other choices in a general election match-up?

On the other ballot in CD-1 (Congressional District 1 – Albuquerque, with nibbles of Torrance, Valencia, Sandoval and Santa Fe counties) is State Senator Joe “paying child support sucks” Carrero and Sheriff Darren “I love Bush” White. Darren’s heavily favored against the west side’s favorite senator. Joe’s always been more of an attack dog than an office holder. He’d make for a much more interesting general election so we see no ability to tell anyone to support Darren White . . . even if Senator Joe took the time to stand in opposition to a bill that seized lottery winnings to pay delinquent child support before it passed with the support of everyone not named Joe Carrero. Joe was just trying to make a point about the bill that earned unanimous consent, Darren on the other hand was trying to ensure Bush’s reelection when he chaired his New Mexico campaign in 2004. Forgive Joe and his poor fathering and remember who helped continue the war in Iraq at the expense of every New Mexican and American.

The dirty

Heading south to the second congressional district (CD-2) you’ll run into a great mess with few things clear on either side of the ballot. Harry Teague – favorite of the Gov. and Lt. Gov. – has pulled out a solid lead against young challenger Bill McCamley, but Bill still has high hopes. While we recognize that Bill’s chances are as good as Carrero’s we still think his youth would better serve southern New Mexico than the oil man that gets likened to Colonel Sanders. This is the year of change and hope and other meaningless ideals, so go with the youthful candidate and let Bill take the whipping from the Republican in the general.

The whipper of McCamley should be Earl Greer. Unfortunately, like Bill, Earl has been drowned out with millions of spending by his opponents. Southern NM voters haven’t had a fair chance to learn that Earl is the only true, traditional Republican in that race. Instead they’ve been inundated with ads from millionaires from Hobbs and Roswell seeking to elevate themselves into an office that can fill the coffers of their oil buddies and other business owners.

Y los Nortenos

The most interesting race on the Democratic side has been held in Santa Fe and all of the counties to the north of Albuquerque. Millionaire Don Wiviott has endowed the ABQ news stations with more cash than any other candidate in the state as he has attempted to battle back against the insurmountable candidacy of the son of the speaker of the New Mexico State House, Ben Ray Lujan. As much as we frown upon judging a candidate on anything more than their merits and policies, we must admit that New Mexico would be lop-sided and underserved without one Hispanic representative in Congress. Luckily, Ben Ray is a great choice to end the streak that began when Richardson left the House to become Ambassador to the UN.

Since the Republicans in this race are so meaningless, we’ll use their space to highlight the most colourful episode of the 2008 primary campaign. During a debate in Farmington, failing candidate Benny Shendo abandoned all rational judgment and hit Ben Ray as low as any punch has landed in any race in the state. Seeing that every other approach was failing, Benny went after Ben Ray’s “lifestyle.” He asked Ben Ray how he could represent the district and stand up for their needs in Congress when he was unable to stand up to his parents about his “secret lifestyle.” Unfortunately for Shendo and luckily for humanity, it didn’t give him the 30 point bump he needed. Not gay, not lesbian, not bi-sexual, not trans-gendered and not even questioning, Lujan laughed off the pathetic attack and continued on his way.

Getting more particular

Don’t get in a hurry, you’re not even half finished with the choices in front of you. And if you’ve made it this far without something to rebut, well . . . glad to hear you’ve been studying.

Moving along! State senate, state house, county clerk, county treasurer and a big pile of judges are also in the running and a few names deserve to be mentioned.

For anyone that sees John Blair’s name pop up on their ballot, don’t let it pass you by. He’s a smart progressive young Democrat that will mount the best campaign against entrenched Republican Senator Diane Snyder. If Blair wins he will have a very tough battle in the general, but can be expected to wage an aggressive effort against Snyder.

For anyone that thinks its cool to have movies made in New Mexico . . . especially those that think its cool that their friends make a living in the newly created film industry, State Senator Shannon Robinson must be re-elected. Tim Keller has to have enjoyed running his first campaign. He got some great exposure for the future. But it’s the year of the younger candidate all across America except on the southeast side of Albuquerque. Shannon Robinson has carried the film legislation in the senate . . . i.e.: the Senators would have sat on their ass and done nothing with all of the bills that brought the film industry here if Senator Robinson hadn’t made sure they got the work done. And the Governor kicked a few lazy Senators in the ass, too.

Staying in Bernalillo County before we traverse the state, there is one interesting judge race. Judge Ben Chavez is in a tough battle with former Richardson drug czar Bob Schwartz. Chavez doesn’t have the political grease and grime that builds up over a career like Schwartz’ and well, we think its safe to say its wisest to side with the less soiled candidate for a position of administering the law. Clyde Demerssmen is also a sound moderate voice that is fully capable of locking up only the truly deserving people.

Finally in Albuquerque is Ambrose Chavez is the sensible alternative for Bernalillo County Clerk. If you’re looking to ship out the old and bring in the new, you have to dump the political sweetheart appointment of Maggie Toulouse Oliver to fill out the remainder of Mary Herrera’s term. Anyone that knows her and her husband know that she goes way back with the Governor.

And the Un-Burque

Santa Fe voters have a choice between a dignified intelligent tenured Senator, or the ever so amazing Letitia Montoya. Letitia is best remembered for her 2006 tour where she blew people’s minds making Mary Herrera sound well spoken. Not that anyone’s scared of Senator Peter Wirth losing his seat, but Letitia’s random foray into another impossible campaign had to be noted.

Roswell has the best action of the whole state. Rory McGinn is launching a formidable attempt against Senator and leader of an ever so New Mexican wing of the party, “Lightning” Rod Adair and Dennis Kintigh is taking on sitting Representative Dan Foley. You know you’re going to be vulnerable when your opponent can send out mailers featuring your mug shot from the last year. Poor Foley couldn’t contain his displeasure with the officiating of his son’s basketball game and took it personally upon himself to remedy the injustice. . . justice was served to Foley as he was hauled off the court as he spat dip on the arresting officers. Give him hell Dennis! Rod Adair has one thing going for him that Foley doesn’t: a disorderly arrest in the last year. Adair has held the honor of leading what most people refer to as a radical faction of the Republican Party. It might be the kind of year that sees him ousted in the primary.

The Simple Path

Yes, there are other, simpler ways to do business. Here’s a group that deserve the sincerest of apologies. Flying over the jungle along the Brazilian Peruvian border, members of a fully autonomous tribe in Brazil were recently discovered. The lucky bastards had the joy of living life free of harassment from anyone beyond the few members of their village and now they will be forever haunted by images of the plane they tried to shoot down with their bow and arrows. How does one go about joining such an autonomous tribe?

Is today the beginning of the campaign to stop Hillary from seeking the VP nomination? Barack Out is back just like ugly 80’s fashion.

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