The official Barack Out With My Cock Out Presidential Debate Drinking Game

The Nut: Are you considering watching the first debate between presidential nominee Barack Obama and senator John McCain? Don't foolishly head into such an endeavor without making use of the following rules to keep the booze flowing at the proper rate - a waterfall pace guaranteed to make your head fuzzy enough to understand what the hell they're suggesting.

Also, if you find this combination of booze and politics to be an enjoyable, time, there's an awesome event to check out on next Friday. Details about Art for Change follow after the drinking game.

The official Barack Out With My Cock Out Presidential Debate Drinking Game:

Begin the opening round roughly 20 minutes before the beginning of the debate (9 eastern):

For Your Affiliation:
- Take 3 drinks if you're a registered republican
- Take 2 drinks if you're Independent or other.
- Take 3 drinks if you're not registered to vote.
- Take 1 drink if your registration does not match your current address.
- Take 1 drink if your registration does not match your ID.
- Give 3 drinks if you're registered as a Democrat.

For Your Voting:
- Take 1 SHOT of cheap whiskey if you voted for Bush in 2004.
- Take 1 SHOT of cheap whiskey if you voted for Bush in 2000.
- Take 1 SHOT if you voted for Ralph Nudar (or other candidate) in either election.
- Give 3 drinks if you voted for John Kerry.
- Give 6 drinks if you voted for Al Gore.
- Get outta my house if you're old enough to have voted for Clinton.
- Take 2 drinks if you voted for Bush in a swing state (NM, OH, FL, PA, MI, etc.)
- Give 2 drinks if you voted for Kerry in a swing state (NM, OH, FL, PA, MI, etc.)
- Give 4 drinks if you voted for Gore in a swing state (NM, OH, FL, PA, MI, etc.)
- Give 2 drinks if you voted for Kerry in a solid red or blue state (the heartland, the west coast, New England, etc.)
- Give 4 drinks if you voted for Gore in a solid red or blue state (the heartland, the west coast, New England, etc.)
- Give 2 SHOTS (to different people) if you voted absentee or early for Kerry or Gore.
- Take 1 SHOT if you voted absentee or early for Bush.
- Take 2 SHOTS if you voted absentee or early for Nadar (take 4 if your vote was cast in a swing state)

For Your Activism:
- Take 1 SHOT if you actively campaigned for Bush by knocking on doors, making phone calls, attended a rally, etc.
- Give 5 drinks if you actively campaigned for Kerry or Gore by knocking on doors, making phone calls, attended a rally, etc. (A person that worked to support Kerry AND Gore will give 12)
- Take 1 SHOT of cheap whiskey if you donated to Bush's campaign.
- Take 5 drinks if you donated to a PAC of any type.
- Give 1 SHOT if you lied, cheated or deceived the GOP in order to attend a Republican rally.
- Give 3 drinks if you saw John Kerry live.
- Take 1 SHOT if you were paid for your work for the Bush campaign.
- Give 5 drinks if you were paid for your work for the Kerry or Gore campaign (12 if you worked on both).
- Give 3 drinks if you woke up before the sun to campaign on election day in 2004 or 2000.
- Take 3 drink if you got into an argument with a complete stranger while out campaigning in 2000 or 2004 (8 if both)
- Take 3 drinks if you had a poltical bumper sticker on your car for the election.
- Take 5 more drinks if it is still there.
- Take 3 more drinks if the bumper sticker was replaced with an anti-Bush sticker.
- Take 3 drinks if you’re mad that the local Obama HQ was out of bumperstickers the last time you went by.



During the actual debate:

Take 2 drinks every time someone has to tell you to shut up so they can hear the debate.
Take 5 drinks if that person has to ask a second time without you responding.
Take 2 drinks if you are left confused by the answer a candidate gave.
Take 2 drinks every time a candidate runs over his allotted time.
Take 1 SHOT if your vote was determined by what you heard during the debate.
Take 2 MORE SHOTS if your vote switched from Barack to McCain because of the debate.

The words of the night: Everyone takes 1 drink every time either man says any of the following words:

Any reference to President Boosh
Any reference to a foreign head of state.

Economic Hard Times:
Bailout
Bank(s)
Economy
Home-owners
Garn-St. Germain
Gramm-Leach-Bliley
Investments
Keating 5
Mortgage
Stock Market

Foreign Policy:
Al Qaeda
“The Surge” (in Iraq)
Terror(ism)

Heroes:
Any former U.S. President
Any random American a candidate names as a good example of American values

Nations:
Afghanistan
China
Georgia (take a shot of whiskey if you thought the capital of this Georgia was Atlanta)
Great Britain (or UK)
Iraq
Iran
Mexico
North Korea
Pakistan
Russia
Sudan
Vietnam

Rhetorical ideas:
Any questioning of Patriotism
Any reference to experience gained while imprisoned in Vietnam
Change
“drill for oil” (or any suggestion of such an idea),“Equal Pay for equal work”
Hardwork
Hope
Maverick
(bi)Partisan
"Rebuilding international coalitions/support"
Renewable energy development

To end the debate: everyone toasts a shot to celebrate being able to have so much fun participating in the American political process.

And as promised:



See you there.