Thursday, March 13, 2008

Cheap Seats and Dates

The Nut:

Florida is getting very close to holding a new Presidential Primary election. It will cost between $10-12 million and will be a mail-in ballot. All likely outcomes will help Clinton, unless Obama pulls off an upset, which could be the final blow to the Clinton campaign. Obama won the Mississippi primary in a very racially divided vote. Rush Limbaugh tried to take credit for getting Republicans out to support Hillary and extend the primary fight. Racial issues and slurs are the talk of the week as a Clinton supporter denigrated Obama's success by saying its only because he is black. Eliot Spitzer resigned his office of Governor of New York and now looks to skirt any of the criminal charges in the case. Pun enjoyed, but not intended.

Florida’s $10 million mulligan

Florida Democrats are getting closer and closer to officially announcing that they will take a mulligan on their rebel pre-Feb 5 election and have their voters re-voice their opinion on their preference of candidate. To the tune of $10-12 million dollars Floridians are readying a new election to make sure their delegates are seated at the National Convention.

It is incredibly important to the Democratic Party that these delegates be seated. An embittered Florida in November is one of many things John McCain needs to pull off the unimaginable upset. Maybe ‘unimaginable’ isn’t the right word after witnessing John Kerry and Al Gore be defeated by a coke-headed, DWI-convicted party boy. Either way, the Democrats must kiss and make up with Florida and Michigan to make sure Barack Obama cruises to victory.

When Howard Dean punished the states for disobeying the DNC’s orders he did not do it to spitefully one-up the insubordinate states, he did it to show that the DNC’s rules do have teeth. We all know that he had every intention of seating the delegates once the race was decided and the convention vote was rendered worthless. But with a “no-end-in-sight” election playing on he has been forced to find a new solution to the problem.

Mail it in

The proposed solution is a mail-in election to be held by June 3. Now we must consider who this will benefit. Who are Obama voters and who are Clinton supporters? Most exit polls have shown older, slower, more “curmudgeonly” people support Clinton while Obama is bringing in votes from the more educated, less old, less traditional parts of the enfranchised electorate.

Remember all of that talk about “if it snows and ices, the old folks won’t go to the polls and Obama will win big?” Well, now the La-Z-Boy bound voters have an upper hand. While they may not run wind sprints, most are very religious about checking their mail (for many of them, it’s a highlight of their day) and they certainly know how to sit down and read through all of the directions of the mail-in ballot.

The Obama Bloc has not earned such high marks in the same categories. Thus, while Obama has many supporters eager to elect him, he will be losing many votes from people that didn’t take the time to go through all of the procedures necessary for the Secretary of State to claim that they conducted a fair, honest election with the voters’ privacy staying protected. At the same time, many Clinton supporters that may not have been physically capable to cart themselves down to a polling location will now easily be able to file their vote. Sure, there is always Absentee Voting, but how many of YOU are wise enough to have permanently signed up for it and avoided ever having to wait in a polling line again?

Should we even care?

Yes, otherwise they wouldn’t be spending $10 million on it. Wait, that’s a lie. They would spend $20 million if they thought it would be entertaining and their donors approved. It is likely that Clinton will win a close victory in Florida and nothing will be decided in the grand scheme of things. The delegate totals will stay too close for either to emerge with a definitive victory. Thus, it will still come down to the Super Delegates and they are aligning more and more in favor of Obama -- the winner of more delegates, more states and more total votes.

But worrying about that assumes you are foolish enough to expect the election to go all the way to the Convention. If Karma is watching, it should wrap up right around Memorial Day Weekend. Would that spiteful wrath of random chance be good enough for all of us in the other 48 states that heeded the DNC’s demands?

Seriously, does anybody care?

The Spinsters better have earned some overtime for the work they put in trying to find a way to make Mississippi’s Democratic Primary seem important. They point to exit polls that show that it was the most racially divided state with 92% of black voters choosing Obama.

Obama’s 61/37 trouncing of Clinton could have been much bigger. His supporters are crying foul over many white Republicans that participated in the Democratic vote to help Clinton and thereby extend the no-end-in-sight election. The racial undertones of the division of voters is sad, but we all know the sad truth that the South isn’t as integrated as other parts of our nation. . . So why worry about a state that is going to support McCain 90/10 come general election time?

Don’t get too upset. This has been done as long as there have been political parties. Earlier in this same primary election, the Daily Kos political blog organized “Democrats for Romney” in an effort to help him extend a no-end-in-sight primary battle on the Republican side. Rush Limbaugh takes credit for giving Hillary the bump by rallying Republicans to vote in the Democratic primary for her to extend the battle. Rush knows what we all know: Barack Obama will be our next President.

The difference between Republicans and Democrats: the R’s got out their tri-focals and brought their three person primary into a single person focus. Maybe the young hip Dems have a Lasic appointment scheduled.

The price of having fun

For those who thought Eliot Spitzer’s $80,000 bill for hookers was steep, his fornicating is costing him even more. The resignation Foxnews announced a day before it was, has finally come to be. Yes, that’s right. Foxnews jumped the gun and announced for New York’s Governor his resignation. But on Wednesday it became official and the state of New York readies to inaugurate its first legally blind black Governor.

If the intrigue of the $1000 an hour call girls has escaped you and you’re back to being stuck on Super Delegate totals, yes, this has a bearing. Eliot surrenders his Super Delegate status to Governor-designate David Paterson. And it just so happens that while Spitzer was carrying water for Hillary, Paterson knows that Obama is the junior Senator that we need as our next President. Go get the big board and take one from Hillary’s side over to Obama’s. I’m sure it was his campaign’s plan all along.

Four more whores! Four more whores!

Don’t think that the last pervert has been pulled out of the closet yet. Larry Flint has been threatening for years to release a long list of politicos that can’t stay faithful to their wife or beliefs. Larry Craig is still a Senator after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct charges after he tried to get a blow job in the wrong public bathroom from the wrong undercover cop. He is also up for re-election this year. We have months of time to expose every philandering hypocrite out there and Barack Out With My Cock Out is ready to report on every one of them.

Its just because he's black

I'm still too shocked at how patently racist and pathetic the Clinton campaigns comments on Obama's success were. Keith Olbermann summed it up perfectly with a 10 minute tirade on how pathetic her baseless attacks were. Hear him out.

Barack Out With My Cock Out will be back on Monday to recap all of the action from the NM Pre-Primary Convention and all of the other political fun of the weekend.

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